Relationship Confidence

By Jennifer Angel

Flirting is a form of communication, which mainly consists of non-verbal communication and we use these skills everyday without even realising. The other area about flirting is confidence and this is one of the reasons why people are hesitant to flirt because they don’t feel confident enough to carry it off, so let’s look at ways that you can boost your flirting confidence. Start by looking at the different communication skills, which we use every day in building, developing and attracting relationships.

Develop Self-Awareness
Firstly, how well do you know yourself? Or, how well do you think you know yourself. It’s said that every person has every trait and it’s not until someone brings the best or the worst out of you, which relationships frequently do, that you even realise that you have a particular quality or trait. When you find out that you do have a quality that’s considered to be undesirable, there is a tendency to either ignore and disown it. However, it’s only your perception that tells you a trait is not good and therefore you spend all this time not liking that part of yourself. This feeling can take over and start to control how you are and what you do in life.

Take time now to think about all the things you don’t like about yourself that you would prefer to change and how you would go about changing them if you could. Write them down in a journal, and then write down all the things you like about yourself. Be honest and hopefully the list of likable areas will be as big as the list of dislikes. They should be balanced on each side, not a whole lot of dislikes and no likeable areas, because that’s not realistic.

Put some time aside to do this exercise and sit quietly where you won’t be disturbed so you can make notes in a private journal. It’s important that you feel safe whilst doing this exercise, you don’t want someone coming in and looking over your shoulder. This information is for you only, unless you decide to share it with someone. Once you do the exercise you will realise that there are things you dislike about yourself that can be changed. Also, there are plenty of great things that you like or love about yourself. This is a very enlightening exercise and one, which will give you more confidence as a person and will certainly give you more confidence when exercising your flirting skills. Being successful at flirting will attract the relationships you want are comfortable with, making it easier to build successful and rewarding relationships.

Introduce Self-Affirmation
Positive thought and positive daily affirmations keep you in a good frame of mind. When you have a positive attitude, it’s amazing how you feel much better about yourself. Be kind to yourself, start each day with a list of positive affirmations, learn them by heart and refer to them through-out the day. You’ll be surprised at how uplifting you’ll feel. Your whole posture and the total look of you will change, with people also commenting on how well you look. People love to be around positive people rather than negative news bearers as it makes them feel good too. By being positive about yourself and your life you will automatically become more popular in all areas of life.

Eliminate Self-Destruct
This is another exercise for your journal. Write down all the things you say to yourself on daily bases that are self-destructive thoughts. You may need to do this over a week and make a conscious effort to write thoughts down as you think of them. It’s an extremely interesting and effective exercise because there are generally a whole lot of thoughts we constantly say to ourselves that are less than encouraging and we’re not even aware of it. They can be thought patterns that have been built up over many, many years and each time you say or think of them you are re-enforcing the negative thought pattern, making it stronger and stronger. They can be thoughts like; I’m not good enough. I’m stupid. I’m never going to be able to do that. Nobody is going to love me. I’m useless; I’m a failure and so on. You get the picture, I’m sure you’ve heard of some of these before. As soon as you hear one of these destructive thoughts stop yourself and immediately replace it with something positive and keep doing this until you have replaced all negative thought patterns with positive ones.

Time for Self-Nourishment
It’s time to pamper yourself! Do something nice for yourself every day, even if it’s writing in your journal. This means taking time for you, and honouring yourself enough to do so. If you’re able to do this then you’ll feel better, look better, and have more confidence. Self-nourishing is being careful with whom you spend your time with. Some people who are takers in life and they rob your energy, they’re the negative ones always telling you why you can’t do something or be what you dream of being. If you can’t eliminate these people from your life, then minimise the contact. Instead, surround yourself with positive people who support and encourage you in life and with your dreams.

Other Articles:

2008

• Relationship Secret Weapon